WHAT is Anger? https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-anger-5120208
Let’s just rip the Band-Aid off: I struggle with Anger. The personification of Anger in Inside Out spoke to my very soul…
When McDonalds came out with the Happy Meal toys from the movie, my son hit me where it hurts: “Mommy, wouldn’t it be funny if you got your favorite one?” “Huh? Which one is that?” “ANGER! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
OUCH.
I grew up in a family that was very, VERY expressive. It wasn’t one emotion or another; it was ALL of them, and for me, it was usually crying. I cried a LOT–I cried so much that the kids at school had a mean nickname for me that I won’t repeat, that still rings in my ear. I had/have a sensitive heart, & my mom was forever telling me to “suck it up!” Dad would beg me to “just let it roll off like water off of a duck’s back,” and I couldn’t do either.
The worst part about it, is that I have historically been an ANGRY crier. It’s not so much anymore, but as a kid, I’d be SO angry & frustrated that I couldn’t DO anything about it, that I’d cry, & it was taken as hurt or sadness. No, stupid, I’m crying because I wanna PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE and they tell me that’s wrong!!!!! (Hey, facts.) I’ve gotten better about that as an adult, mostly because I have the freedom of walking away from the situation that kids don’t generally have if we don’t allow it, but I definitely, definitely feel anger very strongly at times, and I don’t always express it in healthy ways.
I most definitely leave nothing on the table when I’m angry. If you’ve ever read anything I’ve written when I’m mad–a letter to the editor, a letter to a company, a Facebook post that’s upsetting, a text to someone that’s pushed it too far–it’s brutal. I’m very, very skilled at eviscerating someone with the written word in ways I could never do out loud (I process emotions better in writing), & it’s a terrible skill to unleash on someone. I have to seriously pray about it before hitting that “send” button, because even with that, I know there are things I’ve written that I am ashamed of (far worse than what I’ve said). Anger is an explosive thing for me that will well up and go nuclear if I don’t keep it in check…so I don’t.
When I’m angry, you know it….but my goal is to share it in a way that is respectful and balanced for as long as I can. Years of therapy have helped, but decades of being on the receiving end of someone else’s anger have actually done more to shape how I process it as an adult.
Things said in anger cannot be unsaid…I have way too many scars from the truth of that statement, & I still have things brought to mind by the Lord that He’s healing me from. I have said such things to my husband, to my family, even to my son, that I can’t take back & I struggle with forgiving myself for.
Because you EXPRESS anger, doesn’t mean that you STRUGGLE with anger. Anger is an emotion or a feeling that EVERYONE deals with. I can say that someone makes me angry–
“That driver cut me off! What a jerk!”–but not ACT on it or let it ruin my day. Expressing anger doesn’t mean it’s a weight around your neck. I can be made at the bad driver. Where I cross the line, is at insulting him. Where I cross the line, is by racing up next to him, flipping him off, cutting him off, and by spending the rest of my day telling everyone how much he sucked & by letting his actions, regardless of the reason, ruin my day. Anger doesn’t have to dominate, and when we let it, there’s where we fail.
EMOTIONS DO NOT RUN US. FEELINGS DO NOT DICTATE OUR ACTIONS. WHEN WE SAY WE LOVE AND WANT TO FOLLOW JESUS, WE ARE SAYING HE RUNS US. WE ARE SAYING THAT HE AND HIS WORD, DICTATE OUR ACTIONS.
When we “pop off” or lose it, it is clear evidence that we are not listening to the Holy Spirit or speaking in love…we’re disobeying our Father.
Christians like to side-quest into discussing “righteous” anger, usually defined as anger that we have over injustice or evil. I’d like to counter it by going back to my earlier statement, that everyone has anger. Ephesians 4:26 says “be angry, but do not sin.” It’s how we act on our anger that determines whether or not it’s a problem. You can rightly be angered about someone that murdered someone, but what do you do with that anger? Do you pray about it? Ponder how that person got to that point? Do you go online and write an editorial? Do you comment on a Facebook page, or put a sign up in your front yard to protest the issue? Regardless of what made you angry, how do you handle your anger?
I like that Anger in Inside Out has a fire on his head. The Hebrew word for anger literally translates as, “His Nose Gets Hot.” It refers to how our nostrils flare when we’re mad. 🙂
Do you treat it like a flame-thrower, burning whomever comes near you, or do you put it out in the throneroom, letting Him extinguish what hurt you or upset you?
The world has a term for handling anger: “Anger Management.” It’s a funny thing in the world…They have fantastic tips for how to control, breathe thru, calm down, etc., but it doesn’t seem they give a lot of solid information to prevent or forgive. https://www.verywellmind.com/anger-management-strategies-4178870 lists simple strategies to prevent the nuclear reactions so many of us know, have encountered, or struggle with, like working out, learning to identify triggers, leaving the situation, talking it through, etc. It’s pedantic, but solid, if you can think about it in the moment.
I’d counter that though, by saying how can we live our lives in such a way that Love is so big, anger doesn’t get the chance to get a foothold?
What does anger come from? If we’re created in the image of God, does HE have anger? Why do we struggle with it in the first place? And how do we get healing from past hurts, to keep these struggles and triggers from rearing their heads?
According to VeryWellMind, there are 3 types of anger:
- “Passive-Aggressive Anger: Here, a person tries to repress their anger to avoid dealing with it but typically ends up expressing it in unhealthy and undermining ways. Biblical Example: King Ahab was angry with Naboth when he wouldn’t sell him the vineyard in I Kings 21:4. He sulks, and then his wife has Naboth killed.
- Assertive Anger: This can be a healthy option for expressing anger. It involves handling anger in a controlled manner by using your words to calmly explain and try to diffuse the situation. Here, anger is expressed in a non-threatening way. Biblical Example: Moses in Exodus 32 sees the Israelites worshipping the golden calf. Instead of becoming violent, he pleads and intercedes with them in Exodus 32:11. Nehemiah 5 is another great example, where he finds out about the financial oppression of his people and he goes to the leadership to end it. There’s no fighting; just an integritous man, pointing out the clear violation of law with his people’s best interests at heart.
- Openly Aggressive Anger: This type of anger might be accompanied by physical or verbal aggression such as screaming or hitting things. The aim of this type of anger is typically to hurt the person the anger is directed at emotionally or physically.Biblical Example: SO MANY!
- Cain: Murdered his brother in anger (Genesis 4: 5-8)
- Moses: Exodus 32 (later on) when the Israelites do it again, he smashes the tablets
- King Saul: Got so mad at David that he tried to kill him (repeatedly)! I Samuel 18:8-11
Google: Handling anger in a biblical way involves understanding its nature and applying scriptural principles to manage it constructively.
Recognize Anger as a Normal Emotion
Anger is a natural human emotion, but the Bible teaches that it should be managed wisely. Ephesians 4:26 states, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” This emphasizes the importance of addressing anger promptly and not allowing it to fester.
Understand the Causes of Anger
The Bible identifies various causes of anger, including perceived threats to personal values or injustices. Recognizing these triggers can help in managing responses effectively.
Practice Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a key biblical principle. Colossians 3:13 encourages believers to forgive others as the Lord forgave them. This can help release the hold that anger has on the heart.
Seek Peace and Reconciliation
Matthew 5:9 states, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Striving for peace and reconciliation can transform anger into constructive dialogue.
Pray for Guidance
Prayer is essential in seeking strength and wisdom to handle anger. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages believers to present their requests to God, which can lead to peace that guards the heart and mind.
By applying these biblical principles, individuals can manage anger in a way that aligns with their faith and promotes inner peace.
These are the “Idiot’s Guide” to handling anger in a Biblical way…or should I say, “simpleton’s guide?” I feel like this puts an AI-generated bow on a complicated concept, because the Bible doesn’t just tell us about being angry and not sinning; it graphically lists out literal prayers sent up about all of the terrible things certain people would like to see done to their enemies in anger in several places. The most notable expressions of anger in the Bible come from what’s called the Imprecatory Psalms.: https://youtu.be/Qn9LWZPBRR4?si=srXa1u8wXxvp4sZp
These Psalms are a curse spoken to the enemies of God’s people, and they are NOT kind: “Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks” (Psalm 137:9).
“When studying the imprecatory psalms, it is important to note that these psalms were not written out of vindictiveness or a need for personal vengeance. Instead, they are prayers that keep God’s justice, sovereignty, and protection in mind. God’s people had suffered much at the hands of those who opposed them, including the Hittites, Amorites, Philistines, and Babylonians (the subject of Psalm 137). These groups were not only enemies of Israel, but they were also enemies of God; they were degenerate and ruthless conquerors who had repeatedly tried and failed to destroy the Lord’s chosen people. In writing the imprecatory psalms, the authors sought vindication on God’s behalf as much as they sought their own…..The bottom line is that the imprecatory psalms communicate a deep yearning for justice, written from the point of view of those who had been mightily oppressed. God’s people have the promise of divine vengeance: “Will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly” (Luke 18:7–8; cf. Revelation 19:2). “
These Psalms are kinda gross! But, in their defense, they were written in the midst of unjust oppression that tried the generous, long-suffering nature of the Lord. I believe they’re in the Bible to teach us that being angry and grieving, or being angry & expressing lament over such injustices, is a GOOD thing. Sharing our anger with God is a GOOD thing, as it allows us to process through His Holy Spirit, all of the feelings & emotions that He wants to hear.
We’re made in His image…so what does that mean, in the scope of anger? This quick video from The Bible Project is a beautiful explanation of the incredible long-suffering patience of our God in the face of this complicated emotion:
James 1:20 says that “man’s anger doesn’t bring about the righteous life that God desires.” Bluntly put, getting mad doesn’t bring us any closer to God & in fact, it usually puts obstacles in the way (because then we have to forgive, repent, deal with the consequences, etc.). Getting angry is a part of life & is in fact, a genuine reflection of a God Who gets angry in the face of injustice, evil, and pain. Acting on that anger instead of taking it before our Father & trusting Him to act on our behalf, only leads us to more struggles, more sadness, and more pain. Acting on our anger is a statement to God saying that we don’t need Him to fight our battles–we’ve got this–and we all know how well that goes. We have a calling and a desire to seek Him first. We have to trust in His process, in His methods of taking care of people and situations, in His way of handling it that doesn’t follow our “hot-nose” timeline of retribution.
Anger is a hot, burning flame of destruction, yet we are called to serve a God Who is Love and Who gives LIFE. Working on turning our anger over to Him will breed love and life to everyone we encounter, leading us to more peace and a closer walk with Him!
References: 100 Bible Verses about Anger
