Chaos and Christmas Cookies

Christmas seems to be such a time of heightened emotions and drama, right? Either we’re emotional because we’re happy-reminiscing, or we’re emotional because we’re sad reminiscing, or we’re freaking out because there’s too much to do, or we’re filled with abundant joy because of what we’re surrounded with (hyped-up kids). Or, we’re stuffing our fists in our mouths so that we don’t say the wrong thing at our family gatherings…or we’re on a sugar high because COOKIES, or we’re disappointed because no matter how hard we try, we will NEVER BE MARTHA FRICKIN’ STEWART, or we’re hiding in our bedrooms for 2 seconds of peace because of school vacations, or…

Peace.

When the angels came to the shepherds (who were no doubt freaking the heck out, because angels are NOT soft, cuddly lil’ things with wings and halos, NOT TO MENTION the fact that they just SUDDENLY appeared out of NOWHERE. In some translations, Luke 2 says they were “terrified,” and who wouldn’t be?!?!?), they made it a point to say, “Peace.”

Of all of the things that the angels could have said, particularly in regards to the mission they were on, don’t you find it so indicative of the loving nature of God, that they used the word, “Peace?” They wanted their announcement of our Savior to be met not with fear, but with rejoicing…not with dread, but with peace. He wanted us to greet His Son with Peace…that amazes me!

Yet, this season is often met with anything but…

And I am no exception.

I work in a University, which means that I am beyond blessed to have some time off in December and January. This also means that I have a ton of projects that are wrapping up at work, along with my own Christmas preparations. I have schedules to finish, papers to process, contracts to review, doctors to credential, and compliance training to complete. I’m swamped, and I can be very short on patience.

At home, there is cleaning, cooking, baking, groceries to shop for, presents to wrap, recipes to hunt down…laundry that still somehow manages to pile up (even though I swear, I’ve worn the same t-shirt through 3 days of baking…okay, that’s TMI). A few weeks ago, I had to make a run to the grocery store with my kiddo in tow. He’s usually pretty good in the store, so I thought, “Okay, this time, I’m not going to lift him into the cart. My back is hurting pretty badly, and I just don’t want to lift him. He’ll be fine.” And he was…for the first half of the store.

And then he lost his dang mind.

I have no idea what set him off, but he got plain ornery, as we say in my neck of the woods, and I just about spanked his rear in the baking aisle. I was NOT having it, so I hiked him into the cart, and told him I’d had enough. I needed to get some basic greeting cards for work. I saw this blue card that said, “Peace on Earth,” and “Goodwill to all mankind,” and I thought, “Hey, it doesn’t say ‘Merry Christmas!’ I can use these for work!!”

Um…

Do you see what I see, in the picture that heads up this blog?

I was so distracted by my shopping lists and my crazy kiddo, that I didn’t see the Manger in the middle of the card.

I finished my shopping and had my son stand in the corner while I bagged groceries. I’m sure I was the picture of Christmas peace, let me tell you. 🙂

mADEA PEACE BE STILL

We made it home; I got the stuff put away, and my kiddo straightened up his behavior before the TV remote got hidden for the remainder of the night.

A few days later, I was sitting in my office, writing out my cards, when suddenly, I looked at the picture again. There it was, looking right back at me–The Manger.

And I’d missed it.

At first, I laughed with a Jewish friend of mine–“Look what I missed!” She said, “Well, so much for inclusivity, right?” “Yeah!  LOL–Can I still use them?” She said she thought they were fine, so I went ahead with it. I even posted it on Instagram, laughing about my typical dippy-ness. Pretty quickly behind that, though, came a feeling of sadness: How, in the middle of all of this madness, could I have missed the very thing that Christmas is all about?

I felt the Lord say to me, “My story will be told, even when you don’t see how. Even when you overlook Me, I’m still here”  Ooof….yep, that got me.

I had to repent–even though it is such a small thing, it’s true that I had my eyes off of Jesus in the midst of the chaos of my life. The card may have said, “Peace on Earth,” but my stress levels said everything but. How did I get so caught up in this mess?!?

After Thanksgiving, our holiday decorations went up. This year, I gave Jericho the job of setting up the Nativity that I’d bought for his first Christmas. It’s unbreakable, so I felt like I could breathe a bit.  🙂  I set up the stepladder, and let him do what he wanted.

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I’m kind of your typical Type A person, and I have “my” way of doing things. It’s hard for me to turn loose of things and to let other people give things a shot (I think “Type A” is just a classier way of saying, “anal-retentive,” and I will totally cop to my being a control freak in certain situations). He set up the Nativity scene, and I inwardly cringed–everyone was facing the “wrong” way!!!!  But, I took some deep breaths, and I left it alone…he deserves to have decorations, too, so I got over myself….and then, the Type-A Grinch’s heart grew THREE SIZES that day!!!

grinch

Every time I take a look at the Nativity, I smile a little more, & I feel the Father send me a wink. Every character in this scene is solely focused on the Baby in the Manger.
They’ve turned their backs to the distraction, and they’re focused on the Promise that’s in front of them.

They weren’t so busy that they missed the Manger that was standing right in front of them, right under The Star.

They weren’t so caught up by what people would think…by deadlines and groceries and recipes and outfits and schedules…that they missed the fulfillment of the Promise of God.

My son set up this Nativity where every single character is captivated by the scene before them….captivated by the sight of a Savior that would eventually bring Peace on Earth.

I’m humbled.

I’m correcting my oversight, because a six-year old boy unintentionally pointed out the biggest spiritual lessons of Christmas, right under my nose. I may have missed the Manger, but he sure didn’t.

This past week, I’ve had questions about my faith brought up to the surface…broken places that I thought were healed, came up in a way that I had to lay them before God. We had some intense conversations this week, and I truly felt Him whisper into my heart a renewal of faith…an awakening of sorts…and a restored peace that I didn’t realize I was missing. Feelings of inadequacy came in like an earthquake, and I could see the cracks in my foundation; rather than tell me “you should know better!” or, “hasn’t it been long enough? Aren’t you past this?!?” I felt Jesus say, “It’s okay. I’m the same God now as I was 13 years ago; I was the same then that I was 1300 years ago. Things you see on this earth do not define Who I Am, and when I tell you that I Am enough, you can believe that it is, it was, and it will always be true. I felt Him echo those words about me…”Cassidy, you are ENOUGH. Trust in Who you know I Am.”

Chaos in the past…confusion in the present…fear of the future–these are all things that cause us to curl into a ball of static rejection and anxiety. They steal our peace, and they separate us from God and the joy that He gives. These are things that build armor around our hearts and minds, and cause us to feel alone in the dark…but that’s not where He calls us to be.

The shepherds in the fields of Bethlehem were out on night watch. It was dark, boring, and dangerous work; in a darkness like that, who could possibly predict what criminal or starving animal would approach, next? It was smelly, terrifying, and pitch-black…but then God came, and everything changed in an instant:

[a]Now there were shepherds in that region living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were struck with great fear. 10 The angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11 [b]For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Messiah and Lord. 12 And this will be a sign for you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.” 13 And suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying:

14 [c]“Glory to God in the highest
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” (Luke 2:8-14, NABRE)

 

God loved us so much that He gave His only Son to die on a Cross for our sins, and to be resurrected again three days later. He did all of this, so that He wouldn’t have to go through the suffering of losing a child ever again…He doesn’t want to lose a single one of us.

In this season, my hope is that we will all stop and see the Manger in a new way…My hope is that we can all take some time and solely focus on the gift that God gave us, in bridging the gap between sin and salvation with His Son, Jesus.

We are so grateful to the Lord for our son, for our families, and for our friends (that means YOU!). We’re thankful for our church and our pastors, and for the fact that they never stop their relentless pursuit of Jesus.

Have a blessed and wonderful Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, and of course, a wonderful Boxing Day, eh?!?  Celebrate the season with joy and wonder, and may the peace of God be on your household.

See you in 2020 (and yes, in my field, I’m “looking” forward to a year’s worth of terrible jokes)!!! Shalom, y’all!

 

 

 

Only sleeping…

Yesterday, I checked out Instagram & found that a worship leader I have long admired, is asking for God to raise her child from the dead.

When I read that, my gut clenched, & my heart rate hiked.

Our initial, human reaction when someone prays like that, as Americans, is doubt. I am not an exception, especially as I have stood in those shoes, and prayed those prayers, and have had to say goodbye.

A leviathan of heartache rose out of my chest, & I felt the Holy Spirit say, “Wait.

Who am I?”

“You are God,” I thought. “You’re still God. You are still all-powerful. And You’re not a tame Lion, that I could predict how You will choose to work, especially based on my own experiences.”

I believe He could raise this child, if He so chooses. And I believe that if He has called her home, as heartbreaking as it is to go through, that He will still somehow be glorified in ways that we as humans cannot comprehend.

I believe that those who would mock this request, this daring, heart-checking prayer, had better check their relationship with God. What God do we serve? Is He not the Lord of the Impossible? He hasn’t changed since He parted the Red Sea–why should this be any different? Because of our culture? Is our entitlement to the mundane bigger than the Creator of the earth?

I don’t understand His ways or His reasons, but I do know that He will have His way. So, as scary as it is for me to put myself out there, I want to join with Bethel and say in faith, #WakeUpOlive. It’s the third day.

It’s time to rise.

Twenty years…

Ever been hurt by someone?

Ever been cut so deeply, that you know you’re never going to be the same?

Scar tissue sometime seems to form even before the true depth of the wound is understood…

Or maybe–maybe you’ve been the one to hurt someone that badly. Like, you know what you did was painful, even if you felt that it was the right thing to do. You know it cost you either a portion or all of that relationship, and you did it, anyway…maybe you had their best interests at heart? Or, maybe you were just a terrible person at that time…Regardless of the reason: you inflicted a terrible wound to someone, and you’ve carried the guilt of that sin for a long, long time.

When I was a teenager, I went to a youth retreat where this man spoke about something that’s always resonated with me. He talked about sin and deliverance in a way that God brings back into my heart on an almost-weekly basis (y’all know I struggle with forgiveness!! I really do!!! I get MAD!!). He spoke about how sin could become something so great and burdensome, that even when we ask God for forgiveness, and we know in our hearts that He gives it, WE are the ones that can’t seem to let it go, and to forgive ourselves and be free. He said it was like our sin was a big dog in our lives that we’d grown attached to, that turned rabid and had to be put down. This deadly, poisonous thing that we’d become practically grafted to, should be ripped out, buried and gone….but we can’t let go, so we drag this gigantic, disgusting, rotting corpse around with us, and act like it’s still a viable thing. We put it into closets and go back to look at it, time and time again. We’ve become so attached to either our sin or our hurt or our unforgiveness, that we refuse to lay it at the feet of Jesus, so we’re dragging this nasty thing around with us.

We stink, and we are corrupted, by refusing to let go of the past hurt and actions.

We are destroyed by this contagious, soul-eating fungus of the dead weight of sin.

Jesus came to love us…He came to set us free. He came to cleanse us of hurt and of grudges and of burdens that weigh us down…He came to kick the dead bodies of resentment out of our closets, and to make us whole; He came to heal the decayed parts of our heart that have been corroded by the acid of bitterness.

If you’re carrying burdens…if you’re carrying grudges against people who hurt you 20 years ago…If you’re shouldering the luggage of resentment, of not being able to get over someone’s decisions or mistakes they’ve made…

Dude, make like Elsa, and LET IT GO.

That kind of decay and rot makes your soul look like an extra on The Walking Dead. It’s not pretty. It’s not holy.

It’s not who God made us to be.

Life is SHORT. It’s fleeting. We can spend it carting around the dead dogs of shame, regret, anger, resentment, and unforgiveness, or we can allow Jesus to lift those stinking burdens, and to give us new hearts for old, gross, diseased ones. It’s so beautiful and amazing, how He frees us when we let Him. I still struggle with accepting His gifts of grace…they’re so much lighter than the alternative. Sometimes we’re so burdened by the weight of what we bear, that we have to retrain ourselves to stand up properly, once He lifts those things off of us.

I choose grace over disappointment.

I choose forgiveness over resentment.

I choose freedom over bondage to the past.

I choose redemption over regret.

I choose Jesus over anxiety and depression.

I choose Love.