All the Feels Week 3: Sadness

October 7, 2026October 7, 2026 / Cassidy S. Cooley / Leave a comment

Before we tackle Joy’s “opposite” sister, I want to touch on something people forget to mention: Emotions are NOT linear. We live in a Western society that expects a lot of “either/or,” but life is more of a “both/and.” I think Eastern cultures are better at grasping these concepts and anticipating the complicated outcomes & possibilities.

I love the concept that two things can exist simultaneously while not in agreeance–we are not bound to being siloed in how we process, yet we’re thrown when we find ourselves experiencing both. We can laugh in the midst of mourning a loved one when we think about funny memories; we find ourselves scared in the midst of celebrating, etc. Why are we surprised when we find one emotion in the middle of processing another? Science actually says this is a sign our brains are functioning normally! We’re made for this!! We’re complicated beings, created by an infinitely-more complicated Being, and we cannot de-validate our emotions just because we don’t understand their complexities. They happen. Acknowledge them–God understands them so much more than we do.

“We live in a culture that loves dichotomies: happy or sad, broken or whole, mourning or dancing. We like clear lines and easy categories. But real life doesn’t work that way. Real grief doesn’t work that way. It isn’t just sorrow. It’s love. It’s longing. It’s even laughter in the midst of tears. Grief doesn’t erase joy, and joy doesn’t cancel grief. They often walk side by side, coexisting in the same fragile heart……The presence of joy does not diminish grief; rather, it honors it by allowing us to see beyond the loss—to cherish what was, even as we mourn what is no longer.“–https://www.cyndimatos.com/blog/when-grief-and-joy-collide

I’m going to add another note in here (most of this blog is directly what our small group discussed) to say that most of you, if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, know that David & I are well-acquainted with the topic of grief. Grief & sadness are often coupled together but expressed differently. I want to jump in here and say that GRIEF IS VALID. No one wearing the name tag of “Christian” has any right to say your grief isn’t valid. Jesus wept–it’s right there in John 11:35. Grief is an expression of a deep love, separated from your present state. The only reason David & I were able to progress in our journey after our daughter’s death is, and I can’t stress this enough, because we were loved well by a church body that gave us the grace to grieve our loss in transparency, while also comforting us with genuine hope. They never pretended to have the answers to “why;” they never told us to “get over it.” They held us while we wept; they wept with us. They prayed with us, and they witnessed Jesus walk with us through that valley with true kindness. It is because we have been graced with the very best of a loving church body, that we know and believe the church CAN and SHOULD be the safest place for hurting people…

Sadness is a normal human emotion defined as a state of unhappiness, sorrow, or emotional pain usually triggered by loss, disappointment, or difficult life events.

Key Characteristics of Sadness (according to a Google search & a few random resources):

• Universal Emotion: Recognized as one of the basic human emotions across all cultures.

• Physical Signs: Often shown through crying, watery eyes, lowered lip corners, or a quiet and lethargic demeanor.

• Purpose: Signals a natural need for comfort, help, or social support (that’s usually the LAST thing many of us want when we’re in the “mullygrubs,” as we say at home. Leave. Me. Alone…but you’d better hug me! But don’t touch me! ACK!–it reminds me of my very favorite Calvin & Hobbes cartoon).

• Duration: Temporary and passes with time, unlike clinical depression which is a long-lasting mental disorder (Google)

Sadness and clinical depression are different, but people often use the terms interchangeably to describe deep emotional pain.

10 common types of sadness and depressive conditions according to Google:

1. Everyday Sadness (Transient Sorrow)

• What it is: A normal, short-term emotional reaction to a difficult day, a disappointment, or hurt feelings.

• Key detail: It passes quickly and does not stop you from doing your daily tasks.

2. Grief and Bereavement

• What it is: Deep sorrow caused by the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a major life loss.

• Key detail: It comes in waves and mixes with other emotions like anger or fond memories.

3. Major Depressive Disorder (Clinical Depression)

• What it is: A serious mental health condition defined by the Cleveland Clinic that causes ongoing sadness and a total loss of interest in life.

• Key detail: Symptoms last most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks.

4. Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia)

• What it is: A long-term, continuous low mood that is less intense than major depression.

• Key detail: It lasts for two years or longer.

5. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

• What it is: A mood disorder that follows a seasonal pattern, usually starting in the late fall or winter when there is less sunlight.

• Key detail: Symptoms include low energy, sleeping too much, and craving carbohydrates.

6. Postpartum Depression

• What it is: Severe sadness and anxiety that happens during pregnancy or after childbirth.

• Key detail: It goes far beyond the normal “baby blues” and can make it hard to bond with the baby (my personal experience with this was life-altering; I’m forever grateful to my mom for noticing & for saving my life!).

7. Bipolar Depression

• What it is: The low-mood phase of bipolar disorder, where a person cycles between extreme highs (mania) and deep lows.

• Key detail: It is treated with mood stabilizers rather than standard antidepressants.

8. Atypical Depression

• What it is: A specific subtype of major depression where your mood can temporarily brighten in response to positive events.

• Key detail: Symptoms include heavy feelings in the arms or legs and sleeping or eating much more than usual.

9. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

• What it is: A severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) that causes extreme sadness, irritability, and anxiety in the weeks before a period.

• Key detail: Symptoms stop shortly after menstruation begins (Psychiatrists tried to say this wasn’t real a few years ago. I politely disagree…it’s horrible).

10. Situational Depression (Adjustment Disorder)

• What it is: A short-term depressive reaction to a specific, stressful life event like losing a job or going through a divorce.

• Key detail: It starts shortly after the stressful event and usually improves as you adapt.

Biblical characters who struggled with depression:

Here are 12 Bible figures who struggled with depression, each offering valuable lessons on how to approach emotional distress from a biblical perspective:

1. Job:

Job 3:11-26, where Job curses the day of his birth and wishes he had never been born.

Lesson: Even in deep sorrow, Job remained faithful to God, expressing his pain while continuing to seek God’s answers.

2. King David

Psalm 42:11, where David questions his soul, “Why, my soul, are you downcast?”

Lesson: David expressed his feelings honestly before God, but also reminded himself of God’s faithfulness and hope.

3. Elijah

I Kings 19:4, Elijah prayed that he might die, feeling alone and defeated.

Lesson: God didn’t condemn Elijah for his feelings but ministered to him by sending an angel to provide food, rest, and encouragement.

4. Jeremiah (The Weeping Prophet)

Jeremiah 20:14-18, where he laments his birth and the burden of his prophetic calling.

Lesson: Jeremiah’s transparency in his sorrow teaches us that it’s okay to express our emotions to God, even in moments of deep frustration.

5. Moses

Numbers 11:14-15, where Moses asks God to take his life because the burden of leading the people became too much.

Lesson: God responds to Moses’ cries, reminding him that He is always with him, and provides the support and leadership Moses needs.

6. Hannah

1 Samuel 1:10-15, where Hannah weeps and prays bitterly before the Lord, asking for a son.

Lesson: God hears our prayers, and through perseverance and faith, He answered Hannah’s cry for a child.

7. Asaph

Psalm 73:13-17, where Asaph questions whether following God is in vain.

Lesson: Asaph finds comfort when he remembers God’s faithfulness, learning that God will ultimately judge the wicked and bless the righteous.

8. Peter

Luke 22:61-62, where Peter weeps bitterly after realizing he had denied Jesus.

Lesson: Even in our worst failures, Jesus offers forgiveness and restoration, as seen when He reinstates Peter in John 21:15-19.

9. Paul

2 Corinthians 1:8-9, where Paul describes the despair he felt during a time of hardship.

Lesson: Paul learned to rely on God’s grace, acknowledging that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

10. Ruth

Ruth 1:20-21, where she expresses her bitterness and grief, calling herself “Mara” (bitter).

Lesson: Ruth’s story shows us that even in the midst of sorrow and loss, God is working behind the scenes to bring restoration and hope.

11. Mary (Mother of Jesus)

John 19:25, where Mary stands near the cross, watching her son suffer.

Lesson: Mary’s faith and trust in God remained strong even during the most painful and confusing moments, showing us that faith can endure through suffering.

12. Jonah

Jonah 4:3, where Jonah expresses his desire to die, feeling displeased with God’s mercy toward Nineveh.

Lesson: Jonah’s story teaches us that God’s plans may not always align with our expectations, but His ways are always for our good and His glory.

Conclusion:

These biblical figures faced moments of depression, despair, and emotional struggle, yet their stories remind us that God understands our pain and offers compassion, healing, and hope. Through their examples, we see that it is possible to experience deep sorrow and still remain faithful, turning to God for comfort and guidance. In times of emotional distress, we can draw strength from these biblical figures, knowing that God is with us, even in our darkest moments.

Walter Brueggemann, a theologian, calls lament “the telling of all our secrets to God – the hidden, dark, painful, needy secrets that we prefer not to have or acknowledge.” This goes back to the introduction–the NEED for transparency with our Father. We cannot expect any kind of healing or progress until we’re ready to bare it all before the Lord…we have to trust that He is Who He says He is, and that He. Loves. Us.

There is joy in the journey of sadness…and sometimes, there is sadness in the journey of joy. Transparency with God, trusting that Jesus is Big Enough to carry our burdens, and allowing ourselves to meet with Him every day in that place of dependence, is what allows us to have the healing and growth He wants us to have as we walk through our valleys….

Note: Sadness and grief are a part of life, as we all know. Depression, however, is a significant state that I don’t want to ignore or gloss over. If you are dealing with prolonged sadness, fatigue, anxiety, heaviness you can’t get relief from, etc., you may be dealing with a chemical or hormonal depression that your medical professional can help you with. There is ABSOLUTELY NO SHAME in being a Christian but struggling with depression or mental health issues!!!!! We live in a broken world and have a constant barrage of chemical, natural, visual, audible, distractions and negativity flying at us nearly 24/7. Our bodies & our brains weren’t designed for the constant processing we have to do, & sometimes, we need medical/pharmaceutical/psychological help to get our minds right, so that we can get into the place where we can spiritually process and prioritize. I personally have benefitted from medical and therapeutic assistance that I am grateful for. Much like you wouldn’t try to preach to a starving man without first giving his physical body food; you can’t try to embrace joy & get healing from grief/sadness/depression without sometimes getting your physical needs met. If you or your loved one needs urgent mental healthcare, please dial 988 or visit https://www.cdc.gov/mental-health/caring/index.html for more help.

All the Feels Week 2 & 2.5: Joy

October 7, 2026 / Cassidy S. Cooley / Leave a comment

In the very first post of this series, 3 looooong weeks ago, I covered an introduction breaking down that emotions are a quick, physical reaction to a situation, while feelings are more of a long-standing thing that can envelope you. The Bible says we are made in the very image of God; the One Who created us is more than capable of handling feelings and emotions that are part of Who He Is, and that He made us with! (Note: I spent 2 weeks on Joy, and spent the second half of that second week discussing Sadness, so I’m not too far behind in these posts, but I didn’t want to include my notes on Sadness and have this be stupidly long, LOL)!

The most important thing in the introduction that I want to reiterate throughout, is that God Is Able to handle our transparency, and He loves us to share with Him what He already knows according to Psalms 139:1-4

You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
²You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.

He absolutely knows how we feel. He has compassion, empathy, & a heart that loves us unconditionally. Encountering that love leaves us with a true desire to be 100% authentic with Him (and that transparency undoes the enemy, because that fool is the father of lies!). Transparency in sharing our hearts, emotions, feelings, desires, etc., with the Lord is a weapon that gives us deep, deep roots through the storms of life. Messy or not, we are the children of a loving Father Who never hesitates to hold us in whatever state we are in.

Joy is defined by the dictionary as a “feeling of great happiness.” What a crock. Happiness is a fleeting emotion that requires constant feeding. If you feed something constantly, you ultimately wind up with it exhausted with indulgence, ready to explode, & spiraling in the inevitable crash/burnout! (I love Snorlax, because he’s kind of the perfect picture of that, isn’t he?!?)

Happiness is a feeling that tends to be externally driven. It depends on situations, events, and other people aligning with your expectations. It’s future-oriented: you’ll be happy when you get the job, find the relationship, or reach the goal. Joy is more internal and less dependent on circumstances. It can exist alongside difficulty.”

Joy is a choice; it is a disciplined state that you can maintain even in the midst of pain. Joy is dependent upon the hope we have, that God is eternal and His character is unchanging! Because He remains, Joy can remain.

In the movie Inside Out, Joy & Sadness are partnered up as Sadness tries to take over & Joy feels the need to establish dominance. Joy doesn’t understand that her existence is actually made even brighter by the contrast of Sadness, not darkened when Sadness is near. Sadness and darker times solidify the truth of Joy in our lives; the desolate times make the spark of Joy have even more depth. This is impacted by our willingness to be transparent, as transparency →the acknowledgment of hard times→expressing our pain to God→Watching Him move with us, thru us, and beyond us, to sustain us & see us thru to the other side in His time.

The Psychology Today article by Dr. Jamie D. Aten, Ph.D., titled, “What is Joy and What Does it Say About Us?” features an interview with Dr. Pamela King. In the interview, she speaks about the actual science of joy, & covers 3 areas that “deeply inform joy:”

Growing in authenticity & living more into one’s strengths
Growing in deep relationships & contributing to others (this is only possible when we’re authentic with ourselves & with others. Transparency again, leads to deep roots!)
Living more aligned with one’s ethical and spiritual ideals

I love that all of the words she chose to describe growing in joy, are -ing words. They’re Being Verbs—BEEEEEEEEEEEING! Human BEEEEEEings! Joy cannot grow from a place of stasis! Stasis = Death. Think about it–nasty, stagnant water is a breeding ground for disease. Yes, it can develop its own ecosystem of decomposition, but nothing there is good. We are made in the image of God as Human BEings by a God Who’s literal Name is I AM. We. Have. To. Exist in a state of action verbs! Our lives, our successes, and our joy requires either action verbs or DEATH. It’s amazing!

So, this small group study I’m writing is titled, “All the Feels: The Facets of Feelings through the Facts of Faith.” This means I want to look at the people in the Bible who went through each emotion, and we’re discussing how they handled it, both good and bad. How can we apply these lessons and processes to our lives? Let’s take a look at a few:

Paul, while in prison & thru so many trials!
1. Phil. 1:3-6, 18-26
2. Acts 16:25-34
Mary
1. Mary’s Song: Luke 1:46-56
2. Side note: In the same chapter, Elizabeth’s son John “leaped for joy” in the womb when Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting! Even in the womb, we know true joy, spirit-to-spirit!
David:
1. Bringing the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem: In 2 Samuel 6:14-22,
2. I Chronicles 29:9-16
3. So many Psalms! Psalm 4:7, “You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound,”

I’m not going to go into each one, because my mom already says my blogs are too long. 🙂 Each of these people, however, had situations where maybe they had a reason to celebrate; maybe they didn’t. Paul was rotting in jail, but he used his time to give thanks to God and holy cow, the testimony he could share from that experience! Mary, as a young teenager, sang praise to God even though His angel just told her she was about to be an unwed mother–a death sentence in her time–and went to visit her aunt, who by all accounts shouldn’t have been able to conceive.

David–I love King David–exemplified the up-&-down journey of our spiritual walk, and by the end of it, showed a lot of transparency (good and bad) in his relationship with God. Never one to mince words; on the occasion referenced above, he was so excited about bringing the Ark back to Jerusalem that he scandalously danced in his underwear through the city (thoroughly angering his wife). His unabashed, joyful worship showed that he had no pretenses whatsoever in how he felt about the Lord….he was willing to be undignified in his joy. When was the last time you were undignified in your joy? What would that look like?

You know, I found something very interesting in working on the topic of joy…Galatians 5:22 lists Joy as a Fruit of the Holy Spirit. Love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control…but how is Joy also a feeling, when a feeling is fleeting?

Because it’s not.

Happiness, like I said when I started this, is a feeling. Joy is a choice…a state…a fruit or a byproduct of a close walk with God by the power of the Holy Spirit. The fruits of the Spirit are stable, building us and those around us up, leading to a domino effect of positive spiritual influence, change, and productivity. Feelings, however, are impulsive, leading to undisciplined actions, behaviors, inconsistency, and never-ending self-indulgence.

99.1 Joy FM literally says, “I Choose Joy” as it’s web handle. I love that! We CHOOSE to embrace the fruits and the gifts of the Holy Spirit in our lives, even when the world is telling us to choose drama, noise, anger, etc. When we choose joy and we choose to share joy, we are pouring out a beautiful perfume to everyone that encounters us. It’s that joy that’s contagious, that makes people want to know why we’re different. He Makes Us Different!

Around 181x in the ESV, we find the word “JOY” in the Bible!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 12:12: “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
Psalm 94:19: “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”
Psalm 95:1: “Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.”
Isaiah 12:3: “With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.”
Romans 5:11: “Not only so, but we also glory in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
Philippians 4:4: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”
Nehemiah 8:10: “The joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Joy is a place of stability for us, because we are anchored in the hope we have in Jesus. Hope is the key word–hope isn’t a fruit of the Spirit, because it is not based on interpersonal relationships. Hope, like faith, is solely dependent on Jesus & His work in our lives. Hope is between Him and us…and because we KNOW HE IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS, we can have long-standing, solid joy in Him that we share with others!

Choose joy today. Make the decision to sit at the feet of Jesus, share your heart–share the good, the bad, and the ugly–and let Him exchange it for the beauty only He can give, as He heals your hurts & exchanges the pains of this world for the Joy that can only come from Him.

Joy in the Workplace: “All the Feels” Sidequest

September 23, 2026September 23, 2026 / Cassidy S. Cooley / Leave a comment

My friends have gotten used to my “ADHD Sidequests.” I’ll start on one topic & much like a rubber band, I’ll eventually snap back to where I started, but the conversation is going to flex into a lot of different shapes as it goes on. 🙂 Consider this an #ADHDSidequest for my series on “All the Feels.” 🙂

That being said, I’ve learned the freedom I have in working for a faith-based company! My previous foray into academia confined my worldview & ultimately left me unable to share my faith; in this institution, it’s literally on the walls of the building. 🙂 Each meeting starts with a “reflection,” & my Director is bold enough to share genuine moments of success & struggle in her journey. I can’t tell you how much joy that gives me…it’s so much breath into my heart after being so stifled!!

I’ve been allowed to lead a reflection two times now, & for today, I decided to spin my Bible study notes into a workplace application. It was personally helpful, because I’ve really struggled lately with not only my transition to being fully remote, but also with my anxiety related to a huge project that is taking me far longer than I felt it should. It’s had me second-guessing my value as an employee & my talents in this field; it has been mentally & spiritually challenging.

I work with seasoned, brilliant people & I feel terrifically inadequate; my manager is doing her best to encourage me, & I’m grateful for her patience…but even with that, I get in my own head & pick things apart…and then they crumble. So, putting these notes together helped me, & I hope they helped my team, too.

I’ll put the presentation & the links mentioned after the screenshots. I hope you find ways to Choose Joy in the Workplace today!