For the first time in a while, I decided to brush off my keyboard and not only teach a Bible study, but yep–I’m gonna blog about it. This week started an 8-week Bible study at church that I’ve titled, “All the Feels: The Facets of Feelings Thru the Facts of Faith.” We’re going to take a look at key feelings and emotions; see who we know in the Bible that showed those feelings; learn how God mirrors those feelings or works in people with those feelings; and discuss how we move passed the point where feelings impact our relationship with God. It’s a long title and a big concept, and I’m quite sure I’m only going to scratch the surface in this semester, but here we go!
So, why look at feelings, anyways? Aren’t they just temporary? I mean, someone once told me to “never trust a feeling or a fart,” and as redneck as that statement is, it’s true (I can’t even tell you how I fell apart when they said that–that saying lives rent-free in my head!!!). Although I couldn’t make myself say it out loud in Wednesday night’s class (I do have SOME boundaries), it makes me laugh & it lightens the heaviness that this topic can evoke. Our feelings can get so dark that we forget they are TEMPORARY…but the decisions we make in those moments can be permanent, so we need to make sure to keep them in perspective.
Inside Out was revolutionary to me when it premiered; it was so pivotal that this entire 8 week session is based around it. Kids often have little self-discipline in expressing emotions; I found myself taking a deep breath when my son would blow up as a toddler, because how frustrating it must be, to have BIG feelings in SMALL bodies?!? So much emotion, but so little ways of expressing!! As he’s gotten older, I often say to him, “Dude, your REACTIONS are NOT matching the ACTION.” His response to something that isn’t to his liking is frequently way more intense than the situation called for. Getting him to pause, take a breath, and PROCESS something before reacting is a skill that society is in short supply of these days.
Riley’s progression through Inside Out 1 and 2 shows in an almost-tangible way, how our brains go through the process of emotion–>feeling–>mental state, and I love that they used the same characters when looking into the parents’ minds, too. Riley’s beautiful mind shows us Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust; as she hits those formidable pre-teen years, we get Embarrassment, Anxiety, Ennui (Boredom), and Envy added to the party. In the first movie, Sadness tries to take the lead from Joy; in the second movie, it’s Anxiety that tries to run the show (& oh, did I find that relatable?!?). At times, as the emotions try to jockey for position the brain/internal monologue is more of a mosh pit than a logical processing, but isn’t that like life?!? So many emotions, so little time to process…and therein lies the problem many of us face.
But this is an introduction to this series…so let’s strip it back to some basics: Emotions and Feelings…they are NOT the same, according to people much, much smarter than I am. EMOTIONS are the quick reactions that we have. They’re the burst, the flash, the sweat we break out into, the quickening heartbeat, the dilated pupil. A FEELING, however, is something that can linger for days. It envelopes you and you’re conscious of it. Feelings are what happens as we PROCESS emotion….they’re what we MAKE of emotions.
And that’s the key–that’s something I want to really hit on in this introduction. Processing emotions is a necessary discipline we need to take the time to do. The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Emotional Processing by David Caren gives some high-level explanations with some practical advice on how to unpack your day & truly think about how you reacted and felt throughout the day. This leads to a lighter morning, and a better ability (in my opinion) to truly turn things over to God instead of marinating in bad feelings and anxiety thru the night. Processing emotions is something that I actually don’t think we’re fully capable of doing without the Holy Spirit, simply because our abilities to redirect negatives into positives are like, non-existent in this crazy world that lives for the drama. You might disagree with that, and that’s okay–for me, however, it literally takes a major spiritual shift to redirect me because of how my brain is wired. It’s all tied together for all of us, but for some of us, those ties look more like rabid spaghetti. #Squirrel
Neurodivergent individuals are going to process emotions and a lot of other things differently, & I’m not going to get into that too terribly much at this point; however, because neurodivergents/neurospicy people like Yours Truly tend to overreact and spiral when emotions/feelings get overwhelming or out of balance, I’m going to drop this resource in because it’s a good one. We. Are. Not. The Same. as typicals–we feel very, very deeply & we usually can’t just “let it roll” as my parents begged me to do. We’re extrasensitive in many ways, and for me, this really affects how I handle perceived rejections. This is a known problem that has led me to some very dark mental battles/spiritual battles, & I’m very, very grateful for the resources & people God has put in my corner that have pulled me out!!
Emotional processing is NOT the same as Ruminating Thoughts. Ruminating (it’s the same word that’s used when a cow chews their cud–we do the same thing, chewing & chewing on our thoughts and feelings, not able to break the cycle & frequently, devolving into a “death spiral” of dangerous thoughts. Ruminating Thoughts are a frequent struggle for neurodivergents, but I know we’re not alone in that. Emotional Processing (check the link) is a beneficial method of reviewing–>accepting–>moving forward, while Ruminating means you’re literally stuck and choking on it. Jesus gives us freedom from choking on anxiety & ruminating thoughts! That’s the coolest thing EVER!!!!!!!
We do not have to get stuck in the spiral of dark thoughts or the chaos of an imbalanced mind. First of all, we are 100% made in the image of God. Yes, we live in a broken world full of messed-up genetics, chemical warfare, and Lord-knows what else…but being made in His image means so many things…
There are at least 38 verses in Scripture that talk about how we’re made in His image and what that means for us. I want to not only focus this first lesson on the benefits of emotional processing; I also want to base the rest of these classes on the fact that He made us, & there is No One Better to understand our emotions and feelings, as we are reflections of Him. Secondly, like the book of Ecclesiastes says in 1:9, “there is nothing new under the sun.” There is nothing we can tell Him that He hasn’t heard before.
There isn’t a feeling or emotion that’s too big or too small, that He doesn’t care about it or want to know you’re feeling it. There’s nothing you can tell Him, that will make Him not love you. And there is NOTHING you can say to Him that will shock Him or cause Him to turn up His nose in arrogance or disappointment. Jesus loves you…emotional mess, oversized feelings, and all.
Transparency is critical with God–I mean, He sees it anyways, so why do we think we can hide from Him?? He deserves our honesty even when it’s not pretty. In the year after my daughter passed away, I had the gift of transparency in the church we were attending. They gave me the grace to grieve my loss, letting me weep openly during service (especially during that first Mother’s Day), checking in on David & I, and not once telling us to “move on.” Their hearts were broken with us, & they carried us as we mourned.
They didn’t see the anger, though. I kept that from everyone….the miles driven while punching my steering wheel, the times I’d come home hoarse because I’d screamed at God the entire drive home, the unadulterated rage against the universe, against the questions, against my own body and mind…anger that took longer than the grief, to cool. Anger that meant I couldn’t say, “God is good” for over a year, or lift my voice in worship. Raw, ugly, broken anger that took me to another level of honestly with God….to a place where all that was left was me, screaming in an imaginary desert, until all I could do was whisper & ultimately realize that my theology was decimated.
Some people deconstruct.
I went nuclear.
And when everything was demolished, I realized two things: He never left. And I had never truly believed that He loved me.
It was at that point where I found out I’d only had what I’d been told in my heart…my faith had been what I learned from everyone else, what I was told was real, what I THOUGHT I believed…but those thoughts didn’t hold water when death came, & all of the platitudes of faith were just that. The verses were real, but they were words on a page.
I was a Christian–I believed Jesus was my Savior…but I didn’t know Him. And I hadn’t let Him truly know me….I’d played the part.
Getting real with God…getting absolutely bare, because I had nothing left to hide behind…meant that He became even more real to me. My transparency–my desperate, messy, naked transparency–didn’t make Him angry. He recognized me when I didn’t even recognize myself. I didn’t even realize I’d been lying to myself for decades.
Something about devastation means we get an opportunity for a divine reset…if we choose to take it. I learned in that space over 20 years ago, that Jesus loved me at my absolute most broken, most devastated, & most confused, and He met me with Love.
He met me with the Truth of Who He Is….and He showed me that He made me the way I am. Why should I be ashamed that I feel deeply, that I have Big Feelings, when He put that in me? Why should YOU? He made us in His image, to be clean and clear before Him with truth and transparency….and no one can handle us better than the One Who created us.
He accepts us, loves us, and redirects us to process our feelings & emotions instead of spiraling out in them….if we just bring them to Him.
We have absolutely nothing to lose by giving God our transparency, & we have everything to gain…including peace in the emotional processing of life. With so many emotions to deal with–man, I kinda wish we only had the ones Riley struggles with–it’s so incredible to know that no matter how we feel, we are LOVED by a God Who longs to see us as who we are…as He created us…to have emotional stability and a state of peace that lasts so much longer than a fleeting feeling!
Transparency with God is a huge tool in defeating the plots Satan makes against us. There’s nothing that defeats deception like transparency…Transparency gives us deep roots in the storms of life, and shines through the layers of lies we are surrounded by. When it becomes our habit, it fuels our faith because we KNOW that we know, He is with us, He is REAL, and He LOVES us as we are, to becoming Who He sees us as.
May you have the time this week to lay out your emotions and feelings before the Lord and seek His response to the best way to process, accept, and work through…may your feelings for others reflect His…and may you always know He loves you so much more than you could ever realize. 🙂 More later…
*Not written with any AI…although it would probably help me be more concise….whatever. 🙂
Cassidy's Commentary 